It is true that both Mark Philippousis and Richard Krajicek can hit a mean serve in All Star. It may also be true that Amanda Coetzer (South Africa's "Little Assassin") is a little bit nippier than the other girls, but beyond that, we wonder just how much effort has gone into simulating the playing styles of the people featured here. Where, for instance, is the devastating back-hand volley for which Jana Novotna is so rightly famed? "She doesn't seem to be playing with her usual confidence, Pam." "No she doesn't, Sue. And she looks a lot like Amanda Coetzer this year as well, doesn't she?"

The Bomb Tennis option is fun though. Like in Anna Kournikova Smash Court Tennis every time the ball hits the ground it leaves a short-fused bomb that's just strong enough to blow a player off their feet if they're too close when it goes off. This is more than just a silly free cheat - it makes for good practice because it encourages you to force your opponent to stay in the danger zone you are creating with your bombs. Repetitive training routines like this are the staple of any respectable academy. Not with real bombs obviously.

But unfortunately, you can't play 'Bomb' doubles. "Oh what a pity!" - especially as All Star is a game that should only ever be considered when you have other people to play against. If you're on your own, you're better off sitting down with some weak lemon drink in a thermos and drowsing while Des drools like the rain falling on the centre court covers.