The only other realistic option for shooting is the curiously named and clumsy Kick button, which gives you at least a little more power and height but is still far from convincing. In fact, the control system system in general can only be described as awkward at best.

Even worse, perhaps, the very random commentary quickly begins to grate. It ranges from the repetitive to the absurd, the best from Moore's small kit bag of inane comments being a hammy "You're enjoying this one, Ron, aren't you?" to which the big man replies, as if reading your mind: "Enough of your wittering, Brian."

The best thing that UEFA has to offer, apart from its splendid weather effects, is a Champions League Scenario feature. With this you can relive some of the best moments in European football by joining a famous match at a critical moment. It's a nice idea (you could do something similar in Johna Lomu Rugby), and European football is just perfect for it.

The problem is, though, UEFA is such an ordinary game it could never do justice to even the most run-of-the-mill soccer encounters: it does nothing new; it's slow, it's awkward, and therefore rather dull. The best footie games at the moment worry less about who's sponsoring them and more about what's going on in the park. This one could only possibly be recommended to those among you who collect footie games anyway; everybody else steer well clear.