Wind forwards again...

"And this is the Matrox FG4000 accelerator card, which was superseded by the FG4000XL but failed because the Voodoo 17 used the Attica chipset..."
"Don't you think he's too young for all that, dear? I think I ought to wean him first."

"Further forwards you idiot!"
"Yes master!"

"Hey Anakin! C'mere!"
"Yes, Dad."
"Time for a good old deathmatch. Off you go upstairs now and hook up that network."
"Not Half-Life 2030 again?"
"What's wrong with it? Classic stuff."
"But I want to play outside with Zelda."
"I don't want you playing with Zelda, do you hear? Her dad just plays console games for Braben's sake. We're beyond all that now. You oughtn't to be mixing with their type."
"Awww, Dad."
"Don't give me that! Damn Nintendo people. Now go to your room and get on that PC! Playing out indeed."
"Yes Dad."

Later:

"Lucky shot with that shotgun. Of course if you'd used the plasma gun..."
"Yeah dad. Sorry about that."
"No worries. Now let me concentrate on this level on Dungeon Keeper 2. 10 years I've been trying to beat this and I'm not about to give in now."
"Aren't the graphics rubbish? You can see the polygons and everything."
"Hey, let me tell you! Graphics aren't everything. This thing has gameplay. Why, when I was your age..."

Two hours pass:

"... so that's a good game."
"Yes Dad. Er, Dad?"
Hits pause with a sigh. "Yes, son?"
"Can we go fishing this weekend?"
"Fishing? You sure you wouldn't rather play TOCA 17?"
"Nope!"
"Tetris?"
"No Dad! Look, Granddad takes me fishing when he can but he's getting too old now. Anyway, I wanna go with you."
"Wouldn't you rather play Guardians of the Portal?"
"No dad. Look, I just want to do things outside with you. You know, like families used to. And Dad... I just don't like videogames. There, I've said it."
"But, Son. You can fish on a Dreamcast 3. I'll get you one, even if it is a console, if that's what you want."
"I give in. I'm off shopping with Mum." Sound of door slamming.

"What am I going to do with that boy? I know - maybe the answer's on the Internet..."


Congratulations to Michael Foster and his wife, who are currently in the process of adopting two kids. Let's hope the little blighters (the kids, not Michael and his wife) grow up to appreciate the finer things in life, like Future Gamer, games, consoles, games, PC gaming and, erm, games. Congratulations again!