In the second part of this feature, we continue to present the case in defence of videogames.
Jon Palmer

Sex
The subject of cool does, however, bring us on to a very important consideration: getting laid. Now obviously, in the first instance, if you spend a lot of your time at home on your own playing computer games, your chances of getting between the sheets with somebody you don't already know are worse than slim; you've got to meet people to shag them. Furthermore, when you finally emerge from your fly-infested pit, your standards of personal hygiene, particularly in the crucial armpit, groin and feet departments, will probably have sunk to levels unacceptable to the other sex, at least for shagging purposes. Your sleep-deprived pasty complexion and sunken-eyed faraway look will also further hamper your chances of getting off with any real-life Lara Crofts.

Add to this the conversational complications caused by not having spoken to anybody for a week, apart from the man at the newsagents, and then only for long enough to ask for a new packet of cigarette papers and a pint of milk, and you'll understand why that pretty young thing doesn't see you as the next Mr Magic in her bed.

Conversely and paradoxically, however, if you happen to be a girl, the ability to strike up an informed discussion on the state of the videogames scene will drastically improve your chances of getting boned. But then you're probably not a girl, and even if you are you'll only catch a flatfish of the variety described above, rather than any leaping pink salmon. Your flatmates will also laugh openly in your face when you explain to them why you didn't get home last night: "We were playing Tekken and, you know, one thing led to another..."