floppy Dale Winton's wrist.

fragging Two syllables; sounds like shagging.

hard disk An exceptionally tuff roots reggae tune.

joystick Phallus-shaped object which even has a red knob on the end of it. Falls off if you play with it too much.

licence A licence to print money. Adds sweet FA to a game.

modem A fan of the famous early-'80s 'new romantic' pop combo.

mouse A small rodent which makes women stand on chairs.

multitap Jewsons - they've got the lot.

Nintendo 10 past nine in Japanese.

No-brain Dragon's Lair; Area 51; Baby Spice.

PAL For active dogs with shiny coats and bright eyes and stuff. Needs a bit of curry powder to liven it up a bit.

peripheral One of those crap-looking steering wheel things you can buy.

PC Means you're not allowed to swear in the House of Commons.

polygon A dead parrot.

puzzler How is it that oblong-shaped shortbread biscuits covered in milk chocolate can waddle around in the Antarctic catching fish?