The team all returned safe and sound from their Christmas holidays, none the worse for drinking their various home towns dry of alcohol, and happy in the knowledge that they wouldn't have to work with Tim Smith again for a while. Tim's off to Australia shortly, and all the team can say is: good luck to the Aussies, and please don't deport him back to these shores...

On the gaming front, combat has become the new order of things as everyone gradually discovered that they weren't so glad to be back at work after all. Editor Andy Smith, for instance, has switched from playing Le Mans 24 Hour on his PC to CDV Software's new wargame, Sudden Strike, all of a sudden. He's thoroughly enjoying it, apparently, even though it's only a preview version. And no wonder - he likes nothing better than a tommy tank.

Chief News Rottweiler Andy Ashwin, meanwhile, has been running round busting perps with a 'five o' and coming over all hoody, or so he claims. In other words, he's been playing Urban Chaos. Which is nice; but perhaps, reckons the Ed, before he attempts to clean up America's criminal underworld he might do better to clean up his copy...

Gideon Kibblewhite (who has discovered this week that he literally can't spell his own name) this week suffered another humiliating defeat at Toy Commander at the hands of the boy Wheatley. "It's obviously bugged to f***," he reckons.

To conclude this report on a sad note, we regret to inform you that the first Actua Soccer 3 tournament of the century descended into chaos and farce last Sunday, when the Chelsea manager 'lost it' and went 'toe to toe' with the Kiev manager, forcing the evening to be abandoned and bringing the whole future of the competition into question. An emergency session of the Actua League Management Committee (ALMC) will be sitting shortly...