"Mr Kid, the reason I've invited you in today is because the school is becoming increasingly concerned about the progress of you son, Junior."
"Oh?" he inquired, leaning forward confidentially. She smelled odd.
"You see, we feel that Junior really is a bright boy with an exceptional IQ. If he only worked a little a little harder he could do really well, you know."

He leaned back again hastily, realising that it was himself that he could smell. "A chip off the old block, eh?"
"Mr Kid, this is no time for levity."
"Who's Levity?"
"Indeed... Tell me, does Junior have any hobbies outside of school? Hobbies which might take up a lot of his time? I ask this because, according to our records, he hasn't handed in any homework to any of his tutors for six months. Surely he must have done something with himself during that period."
"Well..."
"It couldn't be that he spends a lot of his time playing computer games at home, could it?"
"Errr..."
"Only just this week two WonderSwans and three Game Boys have been confiscated from him because he was playing them in class."
"Ah..."
"And not only that, he was extremely rude when he was deprived of them. His chemistry teacher claims that Junior repeatedly called him 'gas breath'; and I myself, when I took one of the wretched things off him yesterday, he termed an 'ugly bitch'."
"He didn't..."

She stiffened. "Yes, he did, Mr Kid; and such behaviour will no longer be tolerated. This computer game thing of his: it's making his education suffer. His vocabulary is very poor for a boy of his age and intelligence - so much so, in fact, that he still has trouble making even the most rudimentary of sense out loud, except for the odd obscenity. Have you ever noticed this?"
"Sod off you old hag."