The Stone Age
Stone Age people had loads of good games, most of which involved rocks of some variety and very little imagination. Their favourites included Crush Thy Neighbour, Blind Man In The Buff (a variation on Stone The Bastard) and Let's Get a Rock-on In The Showers, later to be reinvented as rugby...


The Greeks
The Greeks enjoyed their games, but as most of these games involved naked young slave boys and large quantities of juniper oil, we'll move swiftly on.

The Romans
There's a lot of Tommy-rot talked about the Romans. People are always saying things like, "Oh, if I could come back as anything, I would come back as a Roman", thinking the boys in skirts had a high old time. Well, they didn't. Do you really think that the inventors of dull things like roads and sewage systems were also into things like drunken orgies? Of course they weren't. Oh no... The Romans were in fact the inventors of an early form of the Pub Quiz. Anorakish centurions would get home from a tedious day at the office, and settle down in their local tavern to be asked questions concerning what family of birds great crested grebes belonged to. This is the real reason, you see, why everyone is taught in schools today that the Romans were "civilised" and "clever".