Gideon, the weak, sickly member of the team, has been suffering from flu, the poor thing. (All together now: aaaah...) Happily, though, he's been an example to gamers everywhere in the way he's dealt with it. Despite burning eyes through lack of sleep, aching limbs, snotty nose and a bout of constipation, followed by spectacular, ring-stinging diarrhoea, he successfully struggled in each morning (except Monday, curiously enough) to summon enough energy to play a few videogames, bless him.

And he was glad he did - because not only has Hydro Thunder on Dreamcast been taking the office by storm, so has The Scottish Game.

"The Scottish Game?" you ask. "And what is that?"

Three guesses. It's on the PlayStation. It's the new Actua. It's better than (spit) FIFA, Michael Owen and UEFA Champions' League rolled into one. Yes, ISS Evolution fever has shepherded Actua 3 into touch as the best footy game around, and everyone at Future Gamer is particularly pleased about this because Jim doesn't thrash everyone at it. The trial continues...

Hydro Thunder has been taking up the bulk of the rest of our time. Brash and exciting, it's arcade heaven, and (there's a theme developing here) Jim doesn't thrash everyone at it.

To end this report as we began it, on the state of Gideon's health, for the record the only sympathy he got was an accusing, "You want to get that cough sorted out, you do."

We are, you see, a caring bunch.