This Week: Game Kid's cure for the flu...

As you may have read elsewhere in Gamer Life, not even those superbly toned, fit, bright-eyed and healthy lot at Future Gamer have been immune to the flu currently ravaging the country, so Game Kid, in his capacity as a one-time doctor of medicine (he was struck off for mixing up a batch of morning after pills with Asprin) has taken it upon himself to set down for you his unique step-by-step guide to recovery...

First off, turn up the heating, fill up a hot-water bottle and cuddle up on the sofa under a large duvet. Feeling comfy? Good. Now we can begin.

Re-hydration.
Thirsty? What you need is water, and lots of it. Get hold of Hydro Thunder instead, or, failing that, Wave Race or Wetrix, which have got more fluid in them than a porn star's gob's.

Heat.
Now what you now need is a good workout to try to sweat the cold out of you, so have a session of Ready to Rumble or, if you haven't got that, Knockout Kings 2000 . Why not? You probably feel like you've been 10 rounds anyway.

For vomiting.
If you've been being a bit sick of late, take several large doses of Croc, Spyro and Kingsley - that'll make you puke properly. That's right, get it all out...

For the bowels.
Constipation can be a problem during periods of illness, but a bit of Resident Evil and Silent Hill will soon remedy that. In fact, if you turn out the lights you'll soon be crapping yourself.

And there you have it. Follow these steps and a complete cure is assured. I fact, I was off work last year with a bit of a cold and enjoyed this cure so much I decided to chuck my job and go on the dole!

Achew!

I'll get my hanky.