HS: "This particular copy, though, one has to say, is not in the best condition. (If you've got children at home you really ought to keep valuable things like this away from them.) The disc, and the cover too, are slightly scratched, although that's nothing much to worry about, by itself - you're obviously going to get a little wear and tear on this sort of product - there is too, unfortunately, a burn mark on the cover which I'm afraid will detract from its value slightly. Do you play any of the games very often?"

GK: "Some of them, yes."

HS: "Oh how marvellous! Let's have a look at the PlayStation itself, and, oh! Oh I say: isn't that just lovely...? Beautiful workmanship: see how smoothly the lid opens! And that typical-of-the-period exquisite grey finish... just feel that almost pebble-dash coating. Quite lovely. Tell me, have you any idea where it was made?"

GK: "Well, there is this label of the back which says 'Made in..."

HS: "If you look closely on the top of the machine you might just be able to make out the logo of its maker, Sony. Sony was a famous company which made a variety of electrical goods for much of the latter half of the 20th century. If we turn it round and look at the back of the machine we should find... yes, here it is. You see those twin-pin type AV plugs? Earlier examples of this type of machine had DIN leads. If this model had DIN leads it would be worth... well... more than this one, anyway! But you wouldn't dream of selling it I'm sure, would you?"

GK: "Well actually, I am a little short..."

HS: "If this were to come up for sale - maybe in an Exchange and Mart, or in the window of a village post office perhaps - this PlayStation, with one rumble pak controller and one poor quality imitation, and with these games, in the condition they're in, with the current standard cables... As a package at today's values it may fetch a price of about one hundred pounds. Are you surprised?"

GK: "A hundred quid? You're having a laugh!"

HS: "Oh how marvellous! Thank you very much bringing in your PlayStation and sharing it with us. I'm sure it will bring you hundreds more hours of joy."

"Dammit."


NEXT WEEK: Errr…