Continuing our irregular series of reader rants, vociferous Nigel Sampson sticks his tongue firmly in his cheek and offers his thoughts on the growing number of female gamers, and how a good dose of National Service is what's needed for the youth of today. This is all to be taken cum grano salis, folks...

Hello, I'm Adolf Sunjouranalisto and I'm angry. It has come to my attention recently that girls are now playing videogames. This outrage must stop. There are already far too many distractions these days that keep our buxom wenches from doing the washing and ironing without giving them videogames as well. Of course, the downward spiral started when women got the vote, but this is really going too far! What next? They've already taken over the airwaves with their scandalous Diet Coke ads in an attempt to turn us all into mindless Chippendales and now they want our games as well.

What's it going to be? Perhaps instead of blowing the arms and legs off the Stroggs we now should wait until they're out and then sneak into their wardrobes with our BFPSs (Big Fluking Pair of Scissors) and cut up all their clothes. There'll be signs saying A Strogg is for Life..., cars with Baby On Board stickers in Grand I-Drive-Really-Sensibly-Just-Can't-Park-Properly Stealing-Is-Wrong Auto and Let's Drive Our Menfolk Mad With Our Endless Shopping games if we don't act now.

And as for you, Mr so-called editor, you're causing the downfall of society by actually printing letters from these shameless jezebels. Soon all games will be pink and fluffy and it will be your fault for not taking a stand now and saying no. I think you should ban all girls, or people with girls' names (they're just as bad) from subscribing to your magazine. Only in this way can we stop all that is precious to us from being destroyed by an invasion of female-inspired hell-games like Bust-A-Move and Parappa The Rappa.