Dear Future Gamer

I just read Paul Rose's excellent and well-written article, 'The Road To Anarchy' (FG38), and had to smile - at the same time, I was downloading Warez versions of 3D Studio MAX v3, Mig Alley, Outcast, Braveheart and Hidden & Dang... oops! Shouldn't I be doing that then?

Now while I've always loathed the fat, greasy scoundrels who actually profit from piracy (selling it), ELSPA's belief that "Game Piracy Is Worse Than Genocide" is just the sort of comment I'd expect from Zombie Dave, and not from a so-called professional organisation.

Where did they get the 'intelligent' notion that trying to provoke or scare us, and by making weak, lame jibes at us like that, is going to help the situation? What's all this about campaign slogans like 'Don't Play With Pirates'? Is this another wind-up from the great Mr Biffo (Paul Rose's nickname), or are ELSPA on drugs?

Speaking of drugs, what about that other great slogan that also stopped kids from doing something? Yeah, yeah... you know what I'm talking about; Zammo's "Just Say No" did a great job, eh? I'm sorry, but if anyone is lacking in moral fibre, honour and real free human spirit here, it's the likes of Mr Terry 'Longshanks' Anslow, not us.

Slogans? Genocide? Oh dear. All ELSPA have done is show themselves up for the unprofessional bunch of goose-stepping sad little ex-traffic warden clowns they truly are. I hardly think that just because I, like a billion others, happen to enjoy the free Warez scene, I'm a worse person than Adolf Hitler. In fact, if anyone is a little Hitler around here then it must surely be Herr Terry Adolf Anslow.

I just thought I should point out here that I do buy games; the good ones worth buying, that is. If I like a game enough I actually do go out and buy it, regardless of what the ignorant Anslow might assume. The Warez scene lets me decide and make up my own mind, in my own time, and gives me what I'm interested in - free choice. If it weren't for full version Warez games we can try before we buy, there would be more crap out there written by crappy software developers than there is now. A recent example - I'm glad I had the chance to see how terrible Kingpin was before I made the mistake of buying it.

Further, I'm not going to be dictated to by a bunch of censors like ELSPA. If there were a professional body in place I could actually respect then perhaps it would be different. However, the idiots in place at present are funnier than a myriad of monkeys on melange.

Now then, can we forget about piracy and get on with the important bit - enjoying the games? Thanks! Adolf Anslow isn't going to spoil my fun, but he's a funny old chap, isn't he?

Chokky Orange

FG: ELSPA have certainly stirred things up with their strong views and comments on piracy. Only today (Thursday August 5), ELSPA's Chairman Roger Bennett has been on Radio One warning everyone that people who deal in pirated software are also likely to be 'peddling hard drugs and pornography'. Now I applaud ELSPA's attempts to stop software piracy, but really... Mr Bennett and Mr Anslow, ridiculous statements like that only make you look as bad as Chokky Orange points out. Anyway, part two of Paul Rose's article can be found it this week's issue, and we're sure you'll find it just as entertaining as the first part.