Oddly, both Final Fantasy VII and Final Fantasy VIII feature central protagonists with meteorologically-oriented names - Cloud and Squall respectively, in fact. Rumours that Final Fantasy IX's hero will be called 'Pissing It Down', however, have been greatly exaggerated...
James Price

Gandalf, Paul Atreides, Achilles, Conan the Barbarian and Deckard the Blade Runner are at Golem's birthday party. With plenty of wine, but ne'er a trace of women nor war, they find themselves discussing the imminent release of Final Fantasy VIII. We join them just prior to this conversation.

Gandalf:...and the girl behind the bar says: "What sausage?"
All: Ha! Ha! Ha!

Conan Hey, have you heard about this new Final Fantasy VIII game? Over a hundred hours of play time in it, they reckon.
[Silence, bar the barely-tangible whisper of rapid mental arithmetic]
Paul Atreides: Hang on. That's a lot, isn't it?
Gandalf: You could read Lord of the Rings several times over in that duration.
Achilles: And have enough time left over to make 240 attempts at starting a family.
[They digest the previous information]
Atreides: My wife says that it's not the length that's important. It's what you do with it.
Gandalf: We've got to make a bloody living! If everyone's playing this, we're in trouble! Come on. Let's get it on and have a look.
[PlayStation is switched on. Mammoth 100-hour Final Fantasy VIII session ensues. Everyone pops off to shave off their now-massive beards and check the progress of continental drift before returning to their previous positions...]

Gandalf: I find a quick smoke aids the thinking process. Has anyone seen my matches?
Golem: What has it got in its pockets, precious?
Gandalf: Oh, there they are. Cheers, Golem. Well, it's a bit good, isn't it?