"How much more of a genius can somebody be?" asked GK, as he fell off the desk. "Do you want a light for that thing?"

"Ouch!" Crispin leapt from his designer recliner, wiping burning plastic from his lips. "It's tremendiso with a cap M, boss. But, just one weepy-weeny little crit; probably nothing, I've not qualified at the university of life as you know, but isn't it the wooniest bit sim' to the other one?"

"You've got a point, Crispmeister, you've got a point. I was thinking just the same thing myself. Before you, in fact. But the point is, that voice always seems to work."

"I wasn't thinking so much about the voice sir, although come to think of it, do you really think that a West Country burr is what's called for? I was thinking more about the words."

Game Kid slouched up to his full laying-down height, swigged Crispin's bottle of Chardonnay (with a capital AY) and pondered. "You're sacked, you hairless, Oxbridge buffoon. Get out. If words like that are good enough for Steve Spielberg then they're good enough for Bruno Bonnell. If phrases like those suit James Cameron then they're fine and dandy for Tim Christian. Don't come in here with your cocky ideas about originality and style. This is a bloody industry - people's jobs are at stake here; families, wives, babies. This is a place where realities forge the links of a lifetime. The software industry is a world where cash is king and dreamers find the dogs of avarice snapping at the heels of creativity. This is a time of opportunity where the weak fall by the wayside of speculation. Be afraid. Be very afraid!"

Disappearing under the table with his Pensized Wordmate 6000, Game Kid set to creating the voice-over that would surely win him the Trailer Oscar he so craved: "Black and White... it's all in your hands."

Well, our Kill Game Kid Kampaign only received a measly pound last week (cheers, Mr Mussell), so we've got another column for you this week. However, if you'd like to put him out of his misery, please send any donations to: Future Gamer, Kill Game Kid Kampaign, Future Publishing, 30 Monmouth Street, Bath, BA1 2BW. We only need a total of £10, so dig deep - you know it makes sense...