Chief news hound Andy Ashwin has been away on holiday for two weeks now, and it's got to be said that his absence hasn't effected the smooth running of Future Gamer's literally well-oiled machinery one jot. The question that's now forming on everyone's lips is just what the hell he does all the time...

As for the rest of us, we've been hard at work - on our ISS skills. In fact, our place of work is beginning to resemble a stadium more than an office, such is the growing interest in 'The Scottish Game'. People have been migrating from all corners of the building to look upon her beauty. Happily for Mark, he's been treating the crowds to some vastly improved displays, his form having improved greatly in recent days to such an extent that he now entertains dreams of true, glorious mediocrity.

In one corner of the office, though, the wizened figure of Andy Smith has sat hunched all week over Planescape Torment, a bizarre PC RPG that has apparently, astonishingly, enabled him to resist the gifts and temptations of the Lady ISS.

We don't go near him any more.