In a fit of entrepreneurial energy, this week sees Game Kid sitting inside a previously undiscovered niche in the world of games software: The Game Trailer Voiceover.

[Adopts, deep, rather chocolatey but gravel-drenched pseudo Ohio accent]

"It was a world were dreams could come true. It was a place where courage was tested to the maximum. It was a time of war and a moment of revelation for four young worms. Their lives would never be the same again. In pink, chunky backgrounds, no-one can hear you scream!"

Game Kid turned to his creative director, Crispin Tarquin-Cardew-Jarvis: "What do you think, Crisp?"

The younger, taller, less drunk man cringed, consulted his notes on the psychopathology of media advertising postures in a post-millennial industrial complex, drew deeply on his Nicorette plasto-cig, sipped a sip from his tall glass of Jacob's Creek Semillion Chardonnay, sighed, remembered who was paying his wages and replied: "Gorge, GK, it's simply gorge. They'll love it, it's fabulouso with a cap O. I adore it to tiny, wiggly pieces. Do you have anything else?"

Flushed with the fresh tang of creative juices tasted and approved, GK placed the C60 cassette of the recording he'd just finished on the bus that very afternoon into his battered but beloved Akai Walkman. "You'll bloody love this Crisp, me old fruit. This'll grab your danglies and shake them until they bleed." Pressing the Play button, GK crouched on the table, drew deeply on his Old Man's Shag roll-up, sipped a half-pint of Parson's Groin Sweller and closed his eyes.

"It was a time of dreams. It was a place where war and peace were confused but men were men and bullets were bullets. Three soldiers, from different worlds, with the same reason to live, met in respect, faith and blood. It was Alien versus Predator. Don't just fear the beast. Twat it!"