This Week: Game Kid appears on the new daytime TV show, Changing Games...

Carol Smiler and her regular designer, Giles Long-haired Git, are quizzing Game Kid on how he'd like to improve a certain hit game owned by his new neighbours, Mike and Sue...

"Oh, something featuring even more full-on blood-spattered violence, I should think; and maybe even a special feature, for when you get bored, where you can download porn from the Internet."

"Oh, ho ho, ha ha!" the designer, his pink shirt unbuttoned to the navel, manages to laugh. "I'm not sure we can promise you that! Tell me, what about those alcoves over there: we could, with some MDF polygons, make a nice little cheap swirly effect...?"

"Look mate, let's get something straight: we're not going to have any fancy twirly-swirly bits, okay? Now move over: we're gonna give those mothers a real game."

The camp one, his hair already sticking with sweat to his rapidly paling face, scurries aside.

"Right. Now much have we got to spend?"

"Oh I say, really... about five hundred?"

"Half a million? I suppose that will have to do. But you'd better get on the blower - we're gonna need some decent equipment in here. And where's that Randy Andy fella? I've got some rewiring for him to do. And you can't lay your hands on some TNT can you?"

In a corner, a concerned-looking studio manager is on the radio.

"Frank, is that you? You'd better get yourself over here - I think we may have a problem..."

Two days later in the street outside, a drawn and sunken-eyed Carol Smiler, her fixed grin now so brittle it could shatter at any moment, does her best before the cameras.

"What a couple of days we've had, ho ho! Anne Horse-Ryder, how have you and Mike and Sue been getting on?"

"Oh we've had a simply marvellous time - and we just came in under budget!"

"At least someone has," the director mutters in Carol's ear-piece.