"GK, are you sitting in front of your PC?"

"Don't get too complicated, Ned. I've warned you. Oh, yes. Sorry... I thought it was a strange mini-bar type contrivance." He surveyed his recently blagged Athlone-based TurboSurferPX10000 with some pride and only a tiny bit of confusion.

After a brief and hilarious period during which the machine was switched on and the browser started, GK realised that he only had five hours to complete the task allocated to him by his American colleague.

"Now," said Ned, barely able to stifle his trousers at the thought of his forthcoming triste, "type in www.yehaa.com, and once you're there, type in the kind of thing you're looking for. Oh, and remember, you can have several windows open at any one time depending on the power of your machine... but remember, GK, the information isn't always correct."

"Yeah right." Tentatively, GK typed in, 'Tell me about farging videogames sites, you twat!'

"Crikey Ned, my old sort, this is gold dust. This is the mutha-lode. There's stuff here that goes back to 1877 or something. Bloody brilliant! You're on my son. You're sorted."

As dollar signs passed in front of his eyes, GK remembered the advice from this testosterone-challenged cyber-chum and with the power of his 2,560Mb RAM, T3-connected super machine, he called up window after window, search after search. Information came racing at him like Celtic managers to the airport:

Pong!: Developed by the Nolan Sisters in 1982. A game reflecting the odiferous nature of the Irish peat bogs.

Doom: Developed by id Lang in 1990. A game that follows the lesbian singer's desperate attempts to set up a date with Diana Spencer.

Pixel: A small creature that lives in a graphics card.

Moving at the speed of light ale, GK powered up the information super highway, saving gigabytes of priceless data to his 30-terrabyte hard disk.

Gathering Of Developers: a photographic society based in the USA who were co-opted by Take 2 Software to take erotic pictures of Tom's Fancy Rainbow Sex, the legendary games-players' dive in Michigan.