This week: Theme Pub...

We've had Theme Park, Civilization, Championship Manager and the like, and now Game Kid proudly presents his idea for the only possible (hic!) way forward: Theme Pub.

The aim of the game is simple: starting with a modest budget, build a chain of successful, thriving pubs using an impressive array of options menus. Peer with voyeuristic joy at the remarkable little worlds you're creating; point and laugh with your friends when you get your first punter really pissed; shake your head sadly when the bank forecloses on you; and you watch your one and only customer (a tramp a who sits at the bar, crapping himself) leave your shady premises for the last time...

Location
'Location, location, location' is what a successful business is often all about, and your pub's location is the very first thing you must decide upon. By visiting Theme Pub's estate agents, Barry's Buildings, you should able to find the perfect place for one. What kind of establishment do you want to build? Will you be silly and try to create a bikers' den in fashionable Chelsea? Why not? Or you could be completely insane and go for a super-pub in Scotland, and discover that your only customer is a sheep dog that leaves a tip in the corner every Saturday night. The choice is yours.

Decor
Decor makes so much difference to the atmosphere of a pub, and to the type of clientele it attracts, so painstaking planning and hard work in this area at an early stage will pay dividends in the end. So think: do you want to attract young townies looking for a shag and a fight? Then go for the 'Loads of brass and mirrors' option at Derek's DIY Pub Store. Or perhaps you'd rather go for the easier (and cheaper) option of the student market instead, in which case the 'Lou Reed posters and tacky paint work' option should suffice.