Dear Future Gamer

About the whole 'wake up call/go back to sleep' thing... The whole argument behind the article was obviously conceived after consuming some particularly potent mushrooms! Let's go through it, shall we? Videogames are:

1. A substandard experience. Okay, but then, like the "back to sleep" article said, so is art. Damn fine retort, I think.

2. No fun. So why did I just spend two hours playing Unreal online with the rest of the Clan deviants, and have a real blast? Is it just me or are the rest of the online/offline gamers people with really low fun thresholds?

3. Not cool. Okay, so that's his opinion - shame he's talking out of a certain posterior orifice. Cool is not a quantifiable thing and it's all a matter of perception.

The rest of the 'wake up' article was in a similarly hallucinogenic vein, it seemed to me. Maybe Mr Kirrane considers such worthwhile pursuits as banging his head against a wall fun, cool and so on (it does burn calories, after all). Or maybe Bungee-jumping? Tying a thick elastic cord to his feet and throwing himself off high places? Parachuting? Jumping out of perfctly serviceable planes? This is fun? Cool? A worthy pursuit? Not a hampered experience? It would be for me! I'd be too busy screaming to enjoy it!

I must admit, I enjoy reading things such as these, simply because it proves to me that there are such people in the world, and I'm not one. Lovely self-righteous glows suffuse my body whenever such a person sticks their head above the parapet.

Now if you'll just excuse me, I think it's time to get the mothballs off my metaphorical ballistas and take a few chunks out of his castle.

Chris Wootton

FG: Glad you liked the features, Chris, that's what they're there for. Mr Kirrane and Mr Palmer, take a bow.