Beside the first bed on the left, a raving, dribbling loon was drawing some sort of diagram on a blackboard and ranting at an invisible audience. "That was absolutely diabolical defending!" he screamed. "When the ball comes in, attack it - don't stand round like bloody statues!"

By the bed opposite, another man, evidently caught in the act of trying to throw a cup of tea, was struggling with two burly male nurses. "It's the only language they understand!" he frothed.
"That's right mate, just take your medicine."

Shaking their heads slightly, the two doctors passed on. On either side of them pyjama-d 'managers' were remonstrating with invisible referees, holding invisible press conferences and taking charge of invisible training sessions. Only at one bed was there a little oasis of calm. A man was sat quietly, a slight smile on his face.

"Is this him?"
"Yes. Mr Kid? This is Dr Marshall. And how are you today?"
"Hello Dr Smith!" came a cheerful rely. "Oh, you know - just taking each game one at a time."
"Of course you are. Dr Marshall would like to examine you. Is that all right?"
"Want to 'run the rule over me', eh?"
"Ahem... Quite. I gather you're having a spot of bother separating reality from computer games."
"Oh, I wouldn't believe what you read in the tabloids. They just build you up so they can knock you down. I just need to be given time."