This week: Bill Gates finally gets to meet Game Kid. Almost.

I decided to give Bill Gates a call the other day. Not to give him any hassle or anything, but just to say hello. After all, it must sometimes be hard being the richest man in the world - surely he would appreciate a message of moral support. So after consulting the phonebook, I started dialling.

"International Directory Inquiries," said a marble-smooth female voice. "What country please?"
"America, please."

After a short while, a male voice came on the line. American. Soft.
"What name, please?"
"Bill Gates."
"May I have a place name too, please Sir?"

For some reason I felt cheated slightly by this response.

"Microsoft, Seattle, please."
"I think they're based in Redland, actually."
"Ah... Okay."

Dialling the number he then gave me, which was impressively long, I felt sure that I was hot on the trail of my quarry.

A female voice. Young. American. "Microsoft [something something something]."
"Could I speak to Bill, please?"
A distinct pause followed. "Could I take your name and business?"
"Oh, I'm no one in particular. I just wanted a chat. Is he in?"

Her tone, which before had been warm but efficient, became somewhat cold and incredulous.

"You can't just call and hope to 'chat' with Mr Gates. He's a busy man."
"Ah... He is in then?"

She wasn't at liberty to tell me that.