Do you recognise this handsome fellow? It's the Cerne Giant, ladies and gentlemen! He was carved into the chalk downs near the Dorset village of Cerne Abbas way back in the mists of time, but quite when, or why, no-one really knows. The earliest record of it dates backs to 1637, but many experts hold that it is a pagan fertility god cut by the Saxons before the 13th century. Soil samples even suggest show that the giant was originally carrying an animal skin, supporting the theory that it depicts Hercules. But enough of this idle speculation! On with the competition!

The most eagle-eyed among you will notice that our giant actually possesses not one but two 'tools' - namely a 120 foot-long club and a modestly sized but fully engorged and erect penis. But which tool do we want you to spot? Using all the imagination and wit your game-sapped brains can muster, point out the correct one using a paint package and mail your answer to Gideon Kibblewhite before Thursday March 9. The winner, who will have furnished us with the most clever-dick answer, will receive a top prize of a gaming nature. The victorious picture will be published next week.

Multiple entries are (still) not allowed and crude entries risk disqualification on grounds of taste but are welcome nevertheless. The competition is open to members only.