This week... ECTS

It's Game Kid's favourite time of year as he prepares to jet off from his secluded country home to take in the bright lights of the Ver Smoke and the European Computer Trade Show! Here you can join with GK and observe the many exotic rituals available for the casual viewer.

ECTS is an event of such total fabulousness that everybody "in the industry" builds their entire calendar around it. It's a time to catch up with old mates and pals, to chew the fat - of which there is a very great deal - and to play new and exciting games.

People from all over the world descend on the arena of choice, this year its that architectural delight, Earls Olympia or Kensington Stadium or somewhere near a "..and Firkin" pub - who the *&^%^ knows? Future Gamer are paying for it.

Game Kid is staying at Mr Foster's Bistro-a-Bed in Earls Court for a few days previously in order to clear the pre-meeting-pre-meeting-meetings that were arranged at the end of E3 in Los Angeles.

Pre-meeting-pre-meeting-meetings are a key element of this Show of Shows. They are essential to gain knowledge of the mean drinking level for the next few days. A perfect PMPMM entails trashing a couple of Japanese journalists (they tend to fall away after the fifth pint of Old Mongrel Slapper), then wondering to Millie Mollie Mandy's Handy Shandy Bar to deck a host of befuddled American account executives with Begorrah Irish Whisky and Hooch cocktails.

This tends to leave you with a few Germans, the occasional Brit and, in recent years, a Russian, a Georgian and a Spaniard who thinks he's at an arms fair because of the product names. Once you're down to the hardcore, you can talk business and swap business cards - which are very useful for, well swapping.