This week: Game Kid @ the Steve Bradley Testimonial Tournament...

If you walk into the Gamer 'dungeon' at any time of the 'working' week, this is what you'd find. Mark, the Production Editor with the face of a choirboy, will be rocking slowly backwards and forwards with his head in his hands muttering, "Oh God, how do you spell 'dog'...?" Jim, the Staff Writer, you won't find anywhere. He'll be outside smoking tabs, slagging off the editor. As for the Editor, Andy, he'll be sat gazing intently, glasses misted, at the wallpaper. This week his wallpaper features a girl called Wendy, a blonde lass wearing pale crotchless panties pulled halfway up her arse. Only Deputy Editor Steve Bradley will you find busy - busy on the phone looking for another job.

And the news is that Bradley's finally succeeded in getting another job - he's leaving Bath for the smokes, for more money and more pollution, and so an Actua Soccer 3 tournament was held this week to mark the fact.

I should mention at this point that six of us have been meeting on Tuesday nights for Actua sessions for over a year now, so Bradley's testimonial was merely an excuse to get more drunk than usual; but self indulgent exercise though this is, at least by describing the scenes that occurred on that 'special' night I can give you an inkling of just what sad bastard gamers some of the people who contribute to this magazine really are.

The tournament was held, as usual, at the house of Mr Tim Smith (he subbed an issue of Future Gamer a few months back, actually - and it was even more unintelligible than usual), and Smith, as usual, didn't have a good time of it. The butt of many a pasting, his struggling Bilbao side rarely managed to find the back of the net, never mind a winning streak.