Dear Future Gamer

Well, if there was ever a sign of complete and utter deadness, it's when something is launched in many sparkly new colours, like the iMac. Macs were boring and crap, but the iMac changed that. Well they're still pretty crap, but they can run Q3 - woohoo. I still hate Macs though. The N64 has been launched in six see-through iMac-like colours to try to save it from certain doom - it ain't going to work!

Scott Ewing

FG: I know what you mean, Scott - it's much like a football team manager getting a vote of confidence from the board of directors. You just know that in two days they're going to be sacked.