This week's Future Gamer Chat Forum round-up comes courtesy of Felix, who's come over all poetic. We absolutely did not write this - it's printed verbatim, with the occasional bewildered comment in brackets. Enjoy...

Wolfchild told us how the US saw the release of Donkey Kong 64,
Unfortunately it seems more bugged than a Malaysian football score.

Unreal Tournament got the regulars in excite. (What?)
Watching bloody battles and giblets flying around certainly is a fright.

There was a heated discussion on why we hate Dixons,
Maybe it's because the staff are all simpletons? (NOT Future Gamer's opinion.)

Wide UK warned us of a virus on a nuking program,
Be warned, nuking programs are a terrible... er... sham? (Oh dear...)

Rumours spread that Felix is crap at badminton, (And poetry.)
He agreed. Felix is a simpleton!

Andy XL sobbed for Nintendo's current showing in the UK, (What rhymes with UK?)
Don't worry Andy. With the Dolphin Nintendo should be OK. (How about toupee?)

And finally, former Forum regular HOOKED came in and said, "Hello",
We hope to see more of you again, HOOKED. You are such a nice fellow. (Creep!)

Hmm... that was nice, Felix. Don't be put off by this twaddle though - most Forum regulars make perfect sense. Most of the time.