We are but tiny cogs in a machine bent on world domination

The Future Network, of which your beloved Future Gamer is but a tiny part, have just announced incredible financial results for 1999. Profits were up a whopping 69 per cent in the year that Future floated on the stock exchange. Not bad, eh? And then there's the recently acquired businesses in Italy and Holland, as well as the German operation and Imagine Media in the US.

Obviously this was largely down to the quality of Future Gamer. So to all those men in suits who we've helped to make rich, we would like to say... we'll have a Kronenbourg, a Fosters and two pints of Tanglefoot please.